Search me, O God
Devotional for October 13 · Psalms 139:23 · 13-minute read
7Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? 8If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. 9If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea, 10even there Your hand will guide me; Your right hand will hold me fast. 11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me”— 12even the darkness is not dark to You, but the night shines like the day, for darkness is as light to You. 13For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well. 15My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. 17How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum! 18If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; and when I awake, I am still with You. 19O God, that You would slay the wicked— away from me, you bloodthirsty men— 20who speak of You deceitfully; Your enemies take Your name in vain. 21Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD, and detest those who rise against You? 22I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them as my enemies. 23Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the way everlasting.
Context
The heading of Psalm 139 identifies it as a psalm of David, the king who lived around 1000 BC. The psalm headings are ancient, although no one knows for sure when they were added. It is one of the most personal prayers in the book. The psalmist meditates on three truths about God: He knows everything about us (vv. 1-6), He is present everywhere (vv. 7-12), and He formed us in the womb (vv. 13-18). But he is not doing theory: he says it all directly to God, in the second person.
Verses 19 to 22 surprise today’s reader: the psalmist asks God to slay the wicked and says he hates them “with perfect hatred.” Texts like these are called imprecatory: prayers that hand over to God one’s outrage at evil instead of taking revenge with one’s own hands. And right after this outburst he turns his gaze inward. The man who has just spoken about the wicked prays: “See if there is any offensive way in me.” The examination begins with his own heart.
What the text says
- v. 7: The question “Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?” is not theoretical. The psalmist imagines the heavens, Sheol (the realm of the dead), the farthest sea and the darkness, and in every place he finds God.
- v. 16: Before a single day of life, God already saw the psalmist: “Your eyes saw my unformed body.” God’s knowledge of us does not begin when we introduce ourselves to Him.
- v. 23: The verse echoes v. 1. At the start he states “You have searched me”; at the end he prays “Search me.” He moves from recognizing that he is known to wanting to be examined.
Reflection
There is a huge difference between being watched and being known. Being watched is frightening; being known by someone who loves us brings rest. Psalm 139 opens with something that could scare us: God knows our sitting down and our rising up, every word before it is spoken, every path. The psalmist even imagines running away: to the heavens, to Sheol, to the farthest sea, into the darkness. But in every hiding place he finds the same thing: “even there Your hand will guide me; Your right hand will hold me fast.” The hand that finds him is not a jailer’s; it is a guide’s.
Then he goes back even further, to his mother’s womb: “You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” The verb calls to mind the patient work of someone weaving cloth thread by thread. For anyone who feels like a mistake, an accident or a burden, this is solid ground: before you had a story, someone was already looking at you with care. The psalmist does not end in pride but in gratitude: “I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Then come the hard verses, where he asks for the death of the wicked. We do not need to hide this passage. It shows someone being honest with God about his own outrage at violence. But notice the next movement. The man who has just pointed at the wicked stops and prays: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.” It is easy to see the offensive way in others and hard to see it in ourselves. The bravest prayer in the psalm is not against his enemies; it is for the truth about himself.
Asking God to search the heart is bearable only because the One who searches is the same One who knits, guides and holds. It is not an examination meant to humiliate, but to heal and to lead: “lead me in the way everlasting.” The New Testament carries this further. In Christ, God not only knows us completely; He comes near to us completely. And the first letter of John says that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive (1 John 1:9). What is brought into the light can be forgiven; what stays hidden keeps hurting us.
Maybe there is an area of your life you avoid opening before God: a resentment, a habit, an old hurt, a doubt you are ashamed to admit. You do not need to have everything sorted out in order to pray. Just do what the psalmist did: open the door and say, Lord, look here too. He already knows. The difference is that now you are no longer running away.
Connections
- Hebrews 4:13 (cross-reference): No creature is hidden from God; everything is exposed to the eyes of the One to whom we must give account.
- 1 John 1:9 (cross-reference): The examination the psalm asks for finds its answer in the forgiveness promised to those who confess their sins.
- Matthew 7:3-5 (editorial reading): Jesus teaches us to first take the beam out of our own eye, the same movement as the psalmist, who turns from the wicked to his own heart.
To apply
- Heart: What area of your life have you been keeping out of your conversation with God?
- Relationships: In which conflict have you seen the other person’s fault clearly while avoiding looking at your own?
- Today: Set aside five quiet minutes, pray verses 23 and 24, and write down the first thing that comes to mind, without justifying yourself.
Prayer
Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You knit me together in my mother’s womb, and there is no place where I am far from Your presence. I confess that I often hide from You, and that I easily see evil in others while protecting my own heart. Today I open the doors I have kept shut. Search me, test my thoughts, show me if there is any offensive way in me. Forgive me in Christ and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen.
To memorize: Psalms 139:23
Today's step: Over the next 24 hours, share with someone you trust one area where you want to grow, and ask them to pray for you.
To go deeper: read Psalms 139; Psalms 51 and get to know David.