Family · for children

Don’t go to bed angry

A teaching for children · Ephesians 4:26–32

²⁶“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing good with his own hands, that he may have something to share with the one in need. ²⁹Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:26–32 · BSB

Context

Paul wrote this letter to the Christians in Ephesus, a big city where very different people had become one family in the church. In the earlier chapters, he explained what God did for them in Jesus. Now he shows how that shows up in everyday life: in the way we talk, the way we fight and the way we make up. It applies to siblings, friends, parents and children.

What the Bible teaches

Paul doesn’t say it’s forbidden to get angry. He says: “Be angry, yet do not sin.” Feeling anger is normal; even Jesus felt it. The problem is what we do with it: hitting, yelling, name-calling, not speaking to someone for days. Paul gives a deadline: don’t let the sun set on your anger. Anger you hold on to is like trash forgotten under the bed: the next day, it’s worse.

Then he shows what to take off and what to put on. Take off: bitterness, shouting, words that wound. Put on: kindness, tenderness, forgiveness. Words are like bricks: they can build a person up or knock them down. That’s why Paul asks for words that are helpful for building up, that is, words that help the other person stand.

And why forgive? Not because the other person deserves it, but because God forgave us in Christ first. Saying sorry isn’t losing the fight; it’s winning your brother or sister back. Adults make mistakes too. When a dad or mom asks their child for forgiveness, the child learns that making up is something strong people do.

Take care: Making up doesn’t mean accepting being hurt. Fights where someone hits, threatens or humiliates need an adult’s help. Disque 100 (Brazil; violence against children, teens and older adults) and 190 (Brazil) in an emergency.

In practice

Make this week’s house rule: before the lights go out, anyone who fought with someone makes up, with a short apology and a hug or a handshake.

To talk about

Which word hurts you most when someone is angry, and which word helps you make up?

Prayer

Lord, sometimes I get really angry and say things that hurt. Help me stop before I wound someone and say sorry before I go to sleep. Thank you that you forgave me in Jesus. Teach me to forgive too. Amen.