Family · for teens

Honoring parents who get it wrong

A teaching for teens · Genesis 9:20–23

²⁰Now Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. ²¹But when he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and uncovered himself inside his tent. ²²And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers outside. ²³Then Shem and Japheth took a garment and placed it across their shoulders, and walking backward, they covered their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned away so that they did not see their father’s nakedness.

Genesis 9:20–23 · BSB

Context

After the flood, Noah and his family started life over in an empty land. The same Noah whom the Bible calls righteous, who obeyed God for years building the ark, planted a vineyard, drank too much and lay exposed inside his tent. The Bible doesn’t hide the mistakes of its heroes. The episode shows how each son reacted on seeing his father at his worst moment.

What the Bible teaches

There comes a moment when you realize your parents aren’t the heroes they seemed to be when you were little. They make mistakes, contradict themselves, sometimes demand from you what they don’t do themselves. Finding that out hurts, and you feel like doing what Ham did: see it and go tell everyone. Expose it, mock it, turn your dad’s mistake into a joke or a weapon.

Shem and Japheth did something else. They took a garment, walked in backward and covered their father without looking. They didn’t pretend nothing had happened; they knew full well. But they refused to humiliate him. Honoring imperfect parents is this: recognizing the mistake clearly and, at the same time, treating the person with dignity. Honor doesn’t depend on parents deserving it; it reflects the way God treats us.

But pay attention: covering the shame of a mistake is not hiding abuse. If there is violence, constant humiliation, sexual abuse or an addiction that puts you in danger in your home, telling a trusted adult isn’t dishonor, it’s protection, even for your parents. Honor can also mean speaking the truth respectfully, disagreeing without contempt and praying for whoever raised you. And if you live with just one parent or with other people, honor applies to whoever cares for you.

Take care: Honoring your parents never means accepting violence, humiliation or abuse. If this is happening in your home, tell a trusted adult (a teacher, pastor or relative) and get help: Disque 100 (Brazil; violence against children, teens and older adults), 190 (Brazil) in an emergency, and CVV 188 (Brazil) if you feel hopeless.

In practice

This week, resist exposing your parents in conversations with friends or on social media. If you can, choose one of their mistakes that hurt you and talk with them respectfully, or with another trusted adult if that conversation isn’t safe.

To talk about

What’s the difference between hiding a mistake, exposing a mistake and covering the person who made it with dignity?

Prayer

Father in heaven, my parents aren’t perfect, and neither am I. Give me eyes to see truthfully and a heart that doesn’t humiliate. Help me honor the people who care for me, speak respectfully and ask for help when I need to. Take care of my home. Amen.