Family · for children

To honor is to give weight

A teaching for children · Exodus 20:12

¹²Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12 · BSB

Context

After bringing the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt, God spoke on Mount Sinai and gave the Ten Commandments, ten words for the life of a free people. The first ones are about how to love God; the fifth is the first to look inside the home. Centuries later, Paul would point out that this is the first commandment that comes with a promise. The Hebrew word for honor carries the idea of weight: giving value, taking seriously.

What the Bible teaches

Have you ever carried a really heavy backpack? In the language Moses spoke, honor has to do with weight. Honoring your father and mother means saying: what you think carries weight with me, you are not lightweights, I won’t walk all over you. Obeying is part of it, but honor is bigger. You can obey with a sour face, slamming the door. Honor is obeying and also treating people with respect, saying thank you and caring for them.

Notice that God placed this commandment right after the ones about himself. It’s as if he were saying: the first place you learn to respect God is at your own kitchen table. And it comes with a promise: long days in the land God gives. It was a promise for the whole people, because a home where people respect each other stands firmer, like a well-built wall.

Some kids live with just their mom, just their dad, with grandparents, with a stepdad or a stepmom. Honor applies to whoever takes care of you. And honor never means keeping a secret when someone hurts you: telling another trusted adult is also obeying God.

Take care: Honoring your parents never means accepting being hurt. If any adult hits, humiliates or touches a child the wrong way, the child should tell another trusted adult. Disque 100 (Brazil; violence against children, teens and older adults) and 190 (Brazil) in an emergency.

In practice

This week, each child picks a way to give weight to the people who care for them: tidy something up without being asked, or say out loud one specific thing they’re thankful for.

To talk about

What’s the difference between obeying with a sour face and truly honoring?

Prayer

Lord, thank you for the people who take care of me. Sometimes I obey grumbling and treat badly the ones who love me. Teach me to value my dad, my mom and whoever cares for me, with words and with actions. Help me be a joy in this home. Amen.