Forgive as we have been forgiven
Family worship guide · theme: Forgiveness · ages 5–14 · 20 min
Opening
Put a single bean on the table and, next to it, the whole bag. Ask: if one person owed a truckload of bags and another owed just this one bean, who would have a better chance of paying? Hold on to that picture: it is the key to today's story.
Reading
An adult reads Peter's question and Jesus' answer (v. 21–22). Then read the parable in three voices: narrator, king and servant. At v. 26 and 29, the kids kneel and repeat the plea. Ask: did you notice that the two pleas are almost the same?
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times! 23Because of this, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlements, a debtor was brought to him owing ten thousand talents. 25Since the man was unable to pay, the master ordered that he be sold to pay his debt, along with his wife and children and everything he owned. 26Then the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Have patience with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27His master had compassion on him, forgave his debt, and released him. 28But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ 29So his fellow servant fell down and begged him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you back.’ 30But he refused. Instead, he went and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay his debt. 31When his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and recounted all of this to their master. 32Then the master summoned him and declared, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave all your debt because you begged me. 33Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?’ 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should repay all that he owed. 35That is how My heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
Teaching
Peter thought forgiving seven times was generous. Jesus answers with seventy-seven times: not a bigger number, but the end of keeping score. Then He tells the parable. Ten thousand talents was a debt no one could pay, more than one hundred fifty thousand years of a laborer's wages. A hundred denarii was about a hundred days of work: a real debt, but one that could be paid. Jesus does not say the wrong done to us is small; He says it has to be seen next to what God has forgiven us. At v. 26 and 29, the fellow servant uses almost the same words as the servant, who hears his own plea and does not recognize himself.
Forgiving “from your heart” (v. 35) is not pretending it didn't hurt, or skipping the apology and the making things right, or trusting again right away. It is handing over to God the right to collect. Forgiveness also does not require anyone to stay close to someone who is abusive: if there is violence at home, protect yourself and get help (call 180 (Women's Helpline, Brazil), Dial 100 (violence against children, adolescents and older adults, Brazil) and 190 in an emergency (Brazil)).
Conversation
For little ones
- Was the king kind to the servant? What should the servant have done next?
For kids
- Why didn't the forgiven servant forgive his fellow servant, even when he heard the same plea he had made himself?
- What's the difference between saying sorry and saying sorry, but you started it?
For teens
- Does forgiving mean saying that what the person did wasn't serious? How does the parable answer that?
For adults
- What hundred denarii am I still collecting from someone in my family? What would help me remember my ten thousand talents?
Activity
Everyone writes or draws on a small piece of paper something they need to ask someone at home to forgive, without showing anyone. Then everyone tears up their papers and throws them in the trash together, remembering that God canceled our debt. Anyone who wants to can ask for forgiveness right there.
Prayer
Father, You canceled a debt I could never pay. Forgive me for demanding from others what You have already forgiven me. Today I hand over to You the hurt I carry from ___ and ask for courage to ask ___ for forgiveness. Protect those who have been hurt and teach our home to forgive from the heart. In Jesus' name, amen.
Blessing
Numbers 6:24–26
During the week
Adopt your home's reconciliation phrase: I was wrong when ___. Will you forgive me? Agree to use it with no buts and no long explanation. At the next family worship, count how many times it was used and what changed.