Words that build up
Family worship guide · theme: Our words · ages 5–16 · 20 min
Opening
Squeeze a little toothpaste onto a small plate and challenge someone to put it back in the tube. It can't be done. Ask: what else is like that, easy to come out and impossible to put back? Let the kids get to words on their own.
Reading
Read v. 25–32 in turns, one verse per person. On the second reading, the kids make a stop sign with their hand at the things that must go (falsehood, stealing, unwholesome talk, outcry) and a thumbs-up at the things that must come in (truth, work, good words, kindness, forgiveness).
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one another. 26“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing good with his own hands, that he may have something to share with the one in need. 29Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.
Teaching
Paul doesn't just say stop; he swaps one thing for another. Put off falsehood and speak the truth. Stop stealing and work so you have something to share. Instead of unwholesome talk (dirty, rotten, the kind that spoils things), words that are “helpful for building up”: to build up is to construct, like someone laying brick after brick. The reason is strong: “we are all members of one another” (v. 25). Hurting someone in the family is hurting your own body.
V. 26 does not forbid feeling angry; it says not to sin in it and not to let the sun set on it. Anger that is stored up turns into bitterness. That's why “outcry” is on the list in v. 31: yelling, cursing and humiliating are not discipline or venting. If the words at home have turned into threats or constant humiliation, that is violence: get help (call 180 (Women's Helpline, Brazil), Dial 100 (violence against children, adolescents and older adults, Brazil) and 190 in an emergency (Brazil)). V. 32 shows the source: we are kind and we forgive because God forgave us in Christ.
Conversation
For little ones
- Say a word that makes someone happy.
For kids
- What sentence said at home hurts the most? And which one cheers you up the most?
- What can we do when we get angry close to bedtime?
For teens
- Do irony and sarcasm count as unwholesome talk? Where is the line between being honest and being cruel?
For adults
- What sentence do I keep repeating at home that does little to build up? What sentence will I replace it with starting today?
Activity
Wall of words: everyone gets a few pieces of paper and writes one true and good word about each person in the house, something they really admire, not just nice. Read them out loud and tape them to the wall, forming a wall. Little ones can dictate to an adult.
Prayer
God who forgave us in Christ, guard our mouths. Forgive us for the words that have wounded, especially ___. Take away our bitterness, our yelling and our lies. Teach us to speak the truth with kindness. Today I want to say to ___ a word that builds up. May our home hear grace. Amen.
Blessing
Romans 15:13
During the week
Sunset agreement: no one goes to sleep without talking. If there's a fight, before bed the people involved say I'm upset about this, but I love you, and set a time to work it out. And each person says one word a day that builds up someone in the house.